Archive for January, 2010

Fri- 1:33 AM to 1:48 AM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 29, 2010 by applecorecomics

Back when I was on the run from the Inquisition and being aided by the Freemasons, if somebody told me that close to a millennium later I’d be typing on a laptop, sipping soy-eggnog, and jacking off to Obama’s “HOPE” poster, I probably would have been skeptical.

I think I need some help with this social internet thing.  I suck at “Twitter,” and this blog was doing well but readership has dropped substantially.  Isabald says I’m too impatient and just to stick with it.  Yeah, easy for him to say.  That bastard’s got it made.  He invented some kind of computer chip thing like ten years ago and then the millions he made from that he invested in Double-Stuff Oreo’s.  He’s one smart cookie.  Speaking of which, I’m going to be going on vacation in about two weeks.  I’ll tell you all about where and what in the coming week along with pictures and maps and all that good stuff.  But my original point was that Isabald will be taking over blog and comic-posting duties until I get back.  But that won’t be for two weeks so don’t worry.

Gold and Blue and Gray is updated once again.  And I must admit, things get a little weird at this point (sorry Molly).

Thurs- 3:12 PM to 3:26 PM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 28, 2010 by applecorecomics

Okay, alright, we are…we are on track with the new comic, er, videos.  Now I want you all to go to The Applecore (link to the HOME site in the right menu) and check out the new page titled FANTASTIC BENEFITS. Yes, I can see it all slowly coming together.  See, I actually wrote this tale first, and was even going to title the main website “UPexx.com.”  Then I found out there was already a “upex.com” and a real company to go with it.  So I adapted.  This is going to be the story of a delivery company (with no actual ties to UPS or FEDEX by the way, lawyers) and the inhabitants that dwell within it.  Of course, since the company operates directly out of one of the circles of the Applecore, it is very Hellish in its mannerisms.

By the end of Friday, or probably more accurately very early Saturday morning, the actual videos will be up for your viewing pleasure.  I’m cutting the creation of this story very close to posting it, so I’m going to set up a deadline of every Friday for this one.  Gold and Blue and Gray will of course continue to update every Tuesday and Friday.  Nature of the beast I’m afraid.  And since by the end of the week I’ll have the new comic up and running, I’ll be swinging back into creating the About page for Gold and Blue and Gray.  Of course now I have an “about” page, “characters” page, and “preview” page to create for the new comic.  Shit.

Meet Jeff and E. Manuel:

Wed- 1:41 PM to 1:56 PM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 27, 2010 by applecorecomics

Walking along a torch-lit hallway I began to grasp the severity of my situation.  Not only were these tapestries centuries old, but on them were woven the history of my ancestors.  Turning the corner through the arched doorway he turned to me and asked  “Which door shall you choose?”  The three intricately-carved wooden monstrosities stood before me, each with an enormous stained glass window looming above it:  One with the design of an orange grasshopper;  One with a devil holding a trident made from teeth;  and the third was the one I chose.  Of the window, I cannot describe for lack of the memory, suffice it to say that as I stepped through the door, I knew that I was gay.

-excerpt, Chapter 4 of “Gold and Blue and Gay”

Some may have noticed that on Mr. Pickwick’s Applecore there is a brand new link (on the main site, just click the HOME button in the menu on the right). Of course there’s nothing there yet which, like I said earlier, I’ll be adding more each day this week until Friday when the VHS tapes will be up for your viewing pleasure.

And if you haven’t already, check out the comic Gold and Blue and Gray which updates every Tuesday and Friday.

Tues- 12:31 PM to 12:32 PM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 26, 2010 by applecorecomics

I hope the reason traffic is so low this week is because everyone is too busy buying and playing NO MORE HEROES 2.” I know that’s what I’m doing.

Suda 51 is my God.

Tue- 8:58 AM to 9:16 AM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 26, 2010 by applecorecomics

Whole big mess.  Right?  God, we had to call her relatives, call in some janitors to clean up the aftermath.  Wasn’t pretty.  Well that’s not even half the story.  Or maybe that’s about half the story.  See, when her relatives all arrived they wanted to have the funeral service in the same castle in which she died.  We usually just use it for parties and such, but we figured hey, what could it hurt?  So they all arrived and we got the place set up.  Up to this point I hadn’t seen the body since it was all splayed out on the cold stone floor.  But man, when I walked out on the roof where the service was being held, God strike me down if she wasn’t wrapped up in torn rags all sloppily like a mummy out of a horror movie.  Most of the rags were soaked in blood and you could see part of her face with her eye poking out all terrified-like!  It was enough to make me sick, so much so that I didn’t even notice the scene around the body.

Bunch of ravens.  I know, I know it sounds like something out of Edgar Allen Poe, but there were ravens sitting here and there on the corpse, the edges of the wall (we’re on the roof of a castle, mind you), people’s shoulders…and, man, I haven’t even gotten to that yet.  The people!  They looked like, like, half-people half-birds.  Like, just picture this, they were all hunch-backed with long bodies and even longer, skinny legs.  Their faces were long with really pointed noses and their eyes- their eyes were huge.  Huge but dead-looking.  Like they were made out of glass or something.  And they were dressed all in black, so they practically looked just like the goddamned ravens!  I’ve seen some stuff in my time, so I took it in stride and went up to greet them, hoping they wouldn’t ask how she died.  They were really jittery though, and when I got too close they’d jump back like five feet (or maybe fluttered?) and they’d talked crazy fast.  They were like “Hitherehow’sitgoin’,WHOAthat’scloseenoughnottosayIdon’tlikeyoubutI’mjustkindofnervousHAHAHA!” and then they’d start pecking the ground.  Weird shit, to be sure.  But that’s not even the most interesting part!  Nah, I’m kidding, that was the most interesting part.  The rest of the time there was kind of boring.  In fact I just got really drunk and played chess the rest of the time.  Wasn’t much else to do.

Anyway, besides the anti-climactic ending there, I’m working on the UPexx page right now, so look for that tonight or technically tomorrow morning (1 to 4 AMish).  And for God’s sake check out Gold and Blue and Gray, I’ve been updating it every Tuesday and Friday.

Mon- 1:02 PM to 1:42 PM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 25, 2010 by applecorecomics

Wow.  wow.  What…..a weekend.  I just…I need a second here.  Okay.  Okay, now, I’m gonna need to make this a two-parter, cause there just ain’t enough time to get into the whole thing now.  Let me start at the drugs.  Not hard shit, just some weed and lots of ale.  First thing I remember after the party started was opening my eyes and my hands being wrapped around the waist of whoever was currently on top, riding me like a bull.  I don’t want to get into too many details here, let’s just say a very attractive woman and a very attractive man were taking liberties that I was more than willing to give (I was fucking their brains out and vice versa).  This went on for a while, while I sort of came in and out of consciousness (no pun intended).  That’s not even the interesting part!  (I’m not a big fan of exclamation points.  I mean they convey that you’re excited about what you’re saying, or maybe that you’re yelling…I’m not sure.  They are a little less annoying than ALL CAPS, and I do use them in comics all the time, but that’s more like a nod to the old-school comics.  Did you know that in the original “Superman” comics every single word he said had an exclamation point?  I think I remember reading that.  Oh, but I digress).

Either we were finished or taking a break, but when I came to again everyone was chilling out playing New Super Mario Bros. Wii. Which was weird because the room we were in looked like it was the dungeon of some castle.  Big, blueish stones and shackles hanging off the walls.  Anyway, I was Mario and the other two were toads.  Me and the guy are still arguing over who actually said it, but one of us suggested we could use a fourth player to be Luigi and the woman said she had a friend upstairs.  She hopped up (still bare-ass naked at this point, by-the-way) and started skipping up the stairs.  That was her fatal mistake, which I think she made just because she enjoyed the rhythm of her bouncing boobs.  See, she slipped at the top step.  The stairs weren’t that tall, but it’s a moot point when you fall straight on your neck on a straight-up stone floor.  Needless to say her neck was broken and she was dead.  Blood-everywhere.  But that’s not even the really interesting part of the story!  To be continued.

There will be a new circle of the Apple Core to be clicked on tomorrow.  Not too much will be up on it, but I’ll be adding more stuff to it every day this week, leading to Friday when you can view the Mysterious UPexx Videos.  So look forward to that.  And keep checking back.

Fri- 1:36 AM to 1:38 AM

Posted in Uncategorized on January 22, 2010 by applecorecomics

I hope when I make a smaller blog post above a big one, people don’t read the small one and assume there’s not a new one under it.  Because there is.  Gold and Blue and Gray has been updated and yes, fight scene time!