Archive for March, 2010

Trying To Figure Out This Thing Called Love

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on March 30, 2010 by applecorecomics

Gene Wilder is probably my all-time biggest crush.  I don’t think there’s anything sexier than his face when someone says Frau Bleaucher and the horses cry out.

I’ve been struggling to get a good schedule going here.  It was just so easy when I had access to the internet at home.  Amazing how fast we get used to new conveniences.  I mean replacing a horseshoe, feeding from a bag, and saddling up, and then riding for hours used to be par the course back in my day.  Of course my lover and I were into some kinky shit back then, in the 90’s.  I seriously did get back to work on Fantastic Benefits.  I just haven’t updated the page yet.

OH!  Forgot to mention, that Art Mart I talked about earlier is actually April 10th, if anyone cares.  I’ve been working on this rap scene with the Spanish Inquisition for Gold and Blue and Gray, and really want to get it done by then.  See, I’m going to print out new zines and they’d be so much better with that scene included.  Anything I don’t sell there (which I’m assuming will be quite a large number of zines) will be sold on Etsy.  So you would actually be seeing quite a lot more than has been posted on the site.  Speaking of which:

Gold and Blue and Gray

I can’t wait until you guys get to see the clown brandishing a dildo.  That’s coming up..sometime this month.  Hey, when I really get settled and start pumping out pages, these will post much faste…kssshhhhhh……kkksssshhhh (static) wwwwhhhiiiirrrrrrrr…..


Army of Salvation

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on March 26, 2010 by applecorecomics

Once again, title’s just what I see in front of me.  This is a quickie, sitting in a parking lot.  Just like updating the blog when I update a comic:  Gold and Blue and Gray

I get a lot more views when I put NSFW in the tags.

Irene McNully Oates Children’s Reading Garden

Posted in Monteclaire Jacking In, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on March 25, 2010 by applecorecomics

That’s what I see looking out the window to my right.  Hi.  I’m Gloria P. Farmer.  And I’m coming to you from inside the Spartanburg Public Library.  My friend Female works with computers, so she’s my internet connection when all else fails.  Anyways, back to the regular  Gold and Blue and Gray updates:

Something rather interesting happened during the move.  Seriously, you won’t even be able to believe what I’m about to tell you.  So, my father and I are driving along across town just fine, talking about the weather or something.  The bed of the truck is packed with furniture.  All of a sudden, we hear this thump. Well, we …static……kkkeeerrshshhh…and the desk is flying through the…keeerrrrshhhshhhhhh-(loud ringing noise) wwhhhiiiirrrrrr…

Are we in?  Okay.  Greetings all.  This is Isabald Monteclaire.  You haven’t heard from me since Gloria came back from the “Egyptian desert” smelling of piss and beer.  My cohorts and I have jacked this blog’s frequency to tell you some urgent news.  We…ktkerrrsssshhhh wwwhhhirrreeeee!!!….

…the time we got there half of my stuff had been stolen.  We heard screeching tires and sure enough the culprits were rounding the corner.  My dad is all like “Buckle in, Jr., this is gonna be a bumpy ride!” And I’m like “AAaaawww shit!” and the chase was o….ssshhhhhhh whiirrrrrrrr……

…Many times have I told you…Huh?  We’re back!  What was I saying?  Oh, Gloria isn’t who he says he is.  I mean, I know he’s already told you that, but it’s actually much worse!  The truth is, he’s…kkeeerrrsssshhhhhhhhhh….and he hasn’t actually ever…ssshhhhhhhhhhhh…Shocking, I know.  He doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand when his frequency is being jacked.  So keep this between us, alright?  I’ll have more information on what action you should take next week.  Until then, Monteclaire out…ssshhhhWhhiiirrrrr…

…ong story short, it took at least six firemen hosing him down before the orphans were safe again.  Phew.  Man, it feels good talking again after all that horrible moving bull.  Anyways, this Monday the Fantastic Benefits updates begin anew.

Also, I’m tweaking an Etsy page to sell (for mere pennies) some zines of Gold and Blue and Gray (which, depending on when I get that set up, might contain sneak previews.  OOoooh). And there’s a thing where I live called the Hub-bub.  It’s a neat art gallery that hosts a lot of other stuff.  There having an Art Mart on the 15th of April, I think, and while I can’t personally go, I’m sending a correspondent in my place to sell (or give away, if necessary) zines.  If anyone lives in the Spartanburg, South Carolina area, try it out.  You might like it.

Moving Woes

Posted in Uncategorized on March 24, 2010 by applecorecomics

Hello! This is a friend of Gloria. My name is Female. It’s pronounced “Fuh-mall-ee.”Like tamale. But not.

Gloria  just wanted me to let you know that he is currently bogged down with moving into his new place, so he most likely can’t update again until this weekend. He has no internet at home, and apparently unpacking is a bitch, so he hasn’t been able to make it to the nearest Starbucks yet.

Maybe I’ll sneak on here later and share some nudie pictures of him or something.

Gold and Blue and Gray continues now

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on March 20, 2010 by applecorecomics

It’s 11:40.  Kept my promise.  Here, in all its glory, the next page of Chapter 1.  Uh, NSFW:

(Link to the comic page: Gold and Blue and Gray)

My last night with internet access at home.  Hmmm.  What to do.  Daily Show, House, or porn… ah it’s a special occasion, all three a once!

PS.  Here’s that picture from the Spartanburg Spark article:

Gold and Blue and Gray continues…soon

Posted in Uncategorized on March 19, 2010 by applecorecomics

Got the comp fixed.  But am also busy moving then working.  Seeing as it will be my last night with internet access at home (new place doesn’t have it, and nobody from whom to steal it)  I’ll just say fuck it and update a whole ‘nother page of Gold and Blue and Gray.  Tonight after work.  So, judging from the amount of busyness, I’d say around somewhere like 11:00 PM.  Just a disclaimer, the comic is about to get really weird.

Man Bites Dad

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , on March 18, 2010 by applecorecomics

Again, sorry no image.  Issy always complained about that.  Speaking of Isabald, I haven’t seen or heard hide or tail of that guy.  He was supposed to take over Wednesdays.

It was brought to my attention with the last post’s comment that I haven’t said that much about my personal life.  Well, I’ll spill the beans on one very large issue to which most can relate:  My father.

I wouldn’t post a picture even if I had my top of lap.  We haven’t spoken in…well, actually, it’s only been two weeks.  But it’s usually not pleasant, let me tell you.  He was not a happy man when he learned of his son’s way of life.  I’m not even talking about being homosexual, either.  That guy’s as flaming as they come.  No, I’m talking about when I joined the priesthood.  Didn’t I ever tell you that?  No?  Well, Catholicism aside, it was all one big sloppy mess.  I was really into this friend of mine, who apparently had no idea.  I dropped enough hints.  What would you think if you came home one night to find a close friend of yours had painted a marvelous abstract expressionist scene over your entire lawn and the front of your house and on one side of your dog?

Personally I can’t think of any better way to get across one’s sexual desire and lust than deep, passionate red brushstrokes laced with seductive ribbons of pink.  This guy?  Psshh, not a clue.  Anyway, he was about to join the priesthood, and I, like a fool, wanted to impress him.  I won’t get into the icky details, suffice it to say Catholic peeps and I didn’t quite see eye to eye.  I ended up getting in a fistfight with the grand wizard or whatever you call him and got booted out before I could even get to first base with that sexy priest motherfucker.  My dad had an oddly similar experience years before, apparently, and had forbade me to ever go within ten feet of a Catholic church (um, BTW, dad was never aware of my service in the Crusades, so….down-low, kay?).

Reason I even bring him up is that he’s coming over this weekend to help in the move across town.  Things will probably get pretty tense.  Here’s hoping there aren’t too many pissing contests.  Virus attacks notwithstanding, hoping also for a smooth Gold and Blue and Gray update tomorrow.