Irene McNully Oates Children’s Reading Garden

That’s what I see looking out the window to my right.  Hi.  I’m Gloria P. Farmer.  And I’m coming to you from inside the Spartanburg Public Library.  My friend Female works with computers, so she’s my internet connection when all else fails.  Anyways, back to the regular  Gold and Blue and Gray updates:

Something rather interesting happened during the move.  Seriously, you won’t even be able to believe what I’m about to tell you.  So, my father and I are driving along across town just fine, talking about the weather or something.  The bed of the truck is packed with furniture.  All of a sudden, we hear this thump. Well, we …static……kkkeeerrshshhh…and the desk is flying through the…keeerrrrshhhshhhhhh-(loud ringing noise) wwhhhiiiirrrrrr…

Are we in?  Okay.  Greetings all.  This is Isabald Monteclaire.  You haven’t heard from me since Gloria came back from the “Egyptian desert” smelling of piss and beer.  My cohorts and I have jacked this blog’s frequency to tell you some urgent news.  We…ktkerrrsssshhhh wwwhhhirrreeeee!!!….

…the time we got there half of my stuff had been stolen.  We heard screeching tires and sure enough the culprits were rounding the corner.  My dad is all like “Buckle in, Jr., this is gonna be a bumpy ride!” And I’m like “AAaaawww shit!” and the chase was o….ssshhhhhhh whiirrrrrrrr……

…Many times have I told you…Huh?  We’re back!  What was I saying?  Oh, Gloria isn’t who he says he is.  I mean, I know he’s already told you that, but it’s actually much worse!  The truth is, he’s…kkeeerrrsssshhhhhhhhhh….and he hasn’t actually ever…ssshhhhhhhhhhhh…Shocking, I know.  He doesn’t have the mental capacity to understand when his frequency is being jacked.  So keep this between us, alright?  I’ll have more information on what action you should take next week.  Until then, Monteclaire out…ssshhhhWhhiiirrrrr…

…ong story short, it took at least six firemen hosing him down before the orphans were safe again.  Phew.  Man, it feels good talking again after all that horrible moving bull.  Anyways, this Monday the Fantastic Benefits updates begin anew.

Also, I’m tweaking an Etsy page to sell (for mere pennies) some zines of Gold and Blue and Gray (which, depending on when I get that set up, might contain sneak previews.  OOoooh). And there’s a thing where I live called the Hub-bub.  It’s a neat art gallery that hosts a lot of other stuff.  There having an Art Mart on the 15th of April, I think, and while I can’t personally go, I’m sending a correspondent in my place to sell (or give away, if necessary) zines.  If anyone lives in the Spartanburg, South Carolina area, try it out.  You might like it.


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