Altar of Burnt Panda

kkssshhh…Well to make a long story short, I drove the bike a ways, there was a crazy chase scene involving those birdmen on motorcycles from “The Wiz”

Then I made it to the giant bamboo stalk only to realize it wasn’t a bamboo stalk at all.  It was spiral staircase leading upwards towards the sky as far as the eye could see.  And what did I see?  Gloria, running up those stairs as fast as he could.  I didn’t see the panda people at first.  Then I noticed the smell.  Then the altar.  And the charred human flesh mixed with synthetic panda fur.  And I put two and two together.  Gloria sacrificed them at the altar to the Evil Ant Race.  And God had already been assassinated (he was shot through the neck by an arrow).  That could only mean one thing.  He was on his way to finish the heir to the heavenly throne:

I had to stop him.  Once God and Jesus were out of the way, the Evil Ants could finally take…over…BAH!  I can’t lie anymore!  It wasn’t the ants.  The ants were framed.  It was, and has always been, the GRASSHOPPERS!

The truth is I’m being held in the Grasshopper Headquarters and they’re monitoring what I say.  I’m probably going to be cut off so whatever you do don’t…….ksssshhhhhhh……

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