Wi-Fi? Part One

There was a small amount of resentment on my parents’ part when I graduated from high school.  My father never did and my mother was an anarchist who didn’t believe in the institution of school.  She had graduated, though.  On my way off the football field after the ceremony was over a traveling salesman called me over to where he was standing against the fence.  I was a bit nervous because he was pretty sexy and he had on quite the striking suit.  Me being a horny college-age kid I immediately started with the flirting.  He seemed taken aback at my aggressiveness.  He put his hands up to stop me and said

“Look, Gloria, I don’t know how to tell you this.  I’m not a salesman.  This is a disguise.  I’m actually a clown working for the U.S. government.”

I paused, then began slowly backing away.

“You can’t run forever, kid.  Just give up.”

I bolted toward the other end of the field and stopped dead when I saw a gaggle of clowns mounting and jumping the fence of the football field from all directions.  They had finally found me.   The salesman began laughing and took off his neatly parted brown wig, revealing a poofy red afro.  The skin tone melted off his face and his white and purple clown makeup was revealed.  A grotesque smile spread across his face.  He turned to the nearest other clown and said “get the car.”  Sure enough a tiny Volkswagon sped onto the field ready to pick all 26 of us up and take us underground.

I looked down and saw a lone football lying next to my feet.  Looking into the salesman/clown’s fiery red nose, I knew what I had to do…

excerpt: Gold and Blue and Gay, Chapter 23

I’m going to do a double update Friday.  So look forward to that.



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