Archive for July, 2010

Wi-Fi? Part 10

Posted in Gold and Blue and Gay, Uncategorized, Wi-Fi? on July 31, 2010 by applecorecomics

Suddenly, looking at Johnny Depp’s contorted face covered in blood simulating clown makeup (and stimulating me, to be quite honest) I understood.  I understood how I had gotten to this point.  How being alone on a football field and converged on by a pack of wild clowns only to be left tied up on a chair conversing with a creepy voice from a hole under me and then being silenced (presumably killed).  Ending up in bed with a gorgeous, hunky clown.  Having sex with him and falling in love with him.  Finding out the shocking secret that the clown I loved was nothing more than a droid built to jack sperm.  Ending up back on the same football field where it all started and learning from my friends that I was set to star in a chick flick opposite that very movie star who was currently (while I was thinking all these thoughts and going through what had led up to this point) laughing at me covered in blood (did I mention his cock was out?)  And of course finally getting to the movie set and getting injured with coffee in my face only to come back the next week and have the giant astroturf cube blown to bits by the movie star with whom I was supposed to be filming.

Yes.  I knew it all now.  I understood even why this story was named “Wi-Fi?”  But then, just as suddenly as the realization came to me, I was thwacked on the back of the head by yet another Johnny Depp covered in blood with his cock out (I don’t think he thwacked me with his cock but I can’t really be sure).  When that happened all the knowledge about the events leading up to that point was wiped clean.  After the two Depps had had their laugh and calmed down, the director said “All right, all right, everyone ready?  Okay, ready, set, ACTION!”

-Excerpt, “Gold and Blue and Gray”: Chapter 23

I’m house-sitting so new awesome comic updates Tuesday.  Also I’ve finished most of the pagan witchcraft research and am putting the info together and will proceed to illustrate it.  So look forward to tricklings forth from that project.


A New Breakthrough

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 28, 2010 by applecorecomics

Gold and Blue and Gray

I’m sure this is a stupid comment but clicking on these images gives you a less shitty-looking version^

I’d like to give a shout out to the one guy or girl who consistently checks this blog every day, even when I have posted nothing and missed deadlines.  And also to apologize for those missed deadlines and to happily announce that the breakthrough mentioned in the title is that I now have an actual, bona fide hole in my house through which the gamma rays commonly given off by the internet reach my computer box.  Therefore, updates will occur most likely every day.

Now before you get really excited, that doesn’t mean comic updates every single day.  Alas, I’m actually quite behind at the moment (I don’t even have the update for both the weekend and yesterday finished) but this is a great step toward getting me on track.  So on to the scheduling.  I will continue to have comic updates on Tuesdays, Fridays, and the weekend, that may or may not contain additional blog messages.  But blog messages will in fact be posted probably most every day.  And if I’m feeling extra saucy (and have actually gotten a little ahead in comic production) I’ll throw in an extra “Gold and Blue and Gray” update.

Having said all that, I once again need to point out that I don’t have a comic update as of yet, but am about to get off this computer and go finish it.  And the second I do I will post the entire page.  And, I swear to the as far as I can tell non-existent god, that I will put something on the “ABOUT” page of Gold and Blue and Gray.

BTW, did you get the reference in the panels above?  To earlier in the comic?  You know, the Chapter 1 title page?  Eh?

“Wi-Fi?” Part 9

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on July 23, 2010 by applecorecomics

That hand in the last panel sucks as well.  It was sketched just fine and I fucked it up in the inking process.  That’s another “final edit” fix.

The parking lot looked normal from a distance but as I stepped foot on it I realized it was textured and painted astroturf.  This seemed superfluous to say the least.  The cars in the lot were real enough.  In fact they were slowly sinking into the turf, which was apparently about ten feet deep.  When I later questioned a crew member about this he told me to mind my own business and through his hot coffee in my face.  Shooting was put on hold for a week after while doctors treated my second-degree burns.  That crew member whom I assumed would be fired turned out to be the director who liked to roam the set incognito.  He apologized when I got back the next week and said he’d been having some issues lately and he was working on them.  I told him to forget it and said it would be fine as long as my hospital bill was taken care of.  He flew off the handle once more and started screaming a native american chant about freeloaders stealing the taxpayers’ money.  (he wasn’t native american).

My first experiences on the movie were obviously mixed, and I was surprised that I still hadn’t seen Johnny Depp yet.  The other actors on the set said that he hadn’t been heard from yet but not to worry because that was usually how he conducted business.  When I said that surely he had at least agreed to do the movie since I was told I would be starring beside him they exchanged nervous glances and switched the subject to the weather.  I naturally accused them of avoiding the subject until I looked up and noticed that the weather was indeed particularly jarring.  It looked like black snow or ash was beginning to fall all around us until a bit got in my   mouth and I realized that it was astroturf.  We all glanced at eachother with a sudden realization spreading over our faces then we bolted toward the parking lot.  When we got there we saw the ten-foot deep cube of astroturf-parking lot was blown to bits.  The cord leading to the detinator (one of those old-fashioned ones with the lever you push down like an air pump) stretched across the grass to the other side of the field near a forest.  And standing above the detinator was Johnny Depp, pointing at us and laughing maniacally.

Sorry For the Loooong Delay but to Make Up For It Here’s 24 Panels of Comics and “Wi-Fi? Part 8

Posted in Gold and Blue and Gay, Uncategorized, Wi-Fi? with tags , , , on July 20, 2010 by applecorecomics

(The woman’s hand in the very last panel sucks and will be dealt with in the final edits.)

Fast forward twenty years and I’m standing on the same football field where it all started.  I’m a different person then I was back then.  The clowns have all died out, their species decaying along with many companies after the internet boom of the…when was that?  Late 90’s?  2000 something?  Anyway, after the initial shock of finding out the only man I ever loved had been a sperm jacking cyborg made me stop believing in love altogether.  My friends all told me I was crazy and that love did exist.  They all got together and hatched a plan to make me believe again.  I got a call from somebody claiming to be my agent telling me that I had a role in an upcoming chick flick opposite Johnny Depp.

Not only that, but he’d be playing a robotic clown.  This crazy turn in events had me reeling, but it was nothing compared to what happened when I stepped onto the movie set…

-Excerpt, Gold and Blue and Gay: Chapter 23

Only several days late.  But it’s pretty awesome getting that many comics in one post, eh?  Hey, in the next 12 panels we’re finally going to relate back to the title page of Chapter 1:

So some sense will be made.  Cheers.


Posted in documentary, Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 16, 2010 by applecorecomics

my fucking power went out with no way for me to scan a comic page.  So I went to somebody willing to let me use their facilities and their printer/scanner is out of ink.  Which shouldn’t in any way prevent me from scanning a picture since that takes no ink.  But HP makes some fucking horrible pieces of shit and it won’t let me scan until it’s ink lust is fulfilled.  So no fucking updates today either because of this set of circumstances.  So that means that over the weekend there will in fact be an update with no less than 18 panels. Needless to say I will be quite behind on actually producing these pages so I need to hurry the fuck up and get some shit drawn or I will be fucked up shit creek without a shit fuck paddle fuck.  By the way that lastblog was Alejandro Jodorowski’s “The Holy Mountain.”  It’s a great movie with the commentary on.  Without it you’re kind of lost.

Anyways.  Slow-going with the documentary.  Need lots of research before any interviews can be made, so reading and outlining is all that’s really happening at the moment.  But I will keep you updated on that.  I’m almost through “Triumph of the Moon” by Ronald Hutton.  It’s a fantastic history of modern pagan witchcraft which gently yet firmly dispels nearly all the rumors and non-truths about pagan matters and witchcraft.  For example, did you know that in all likelihood there was absolutely no actual practiced witchcraft whatsoever until Gerald Gardner invented Wicca in the 1940’s and 50’s?  All the witch shit you hear about and read in books and even textbooks was all in people’s heads.  Mind fuck.  Check for that huge-ass update over the weekend.


Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on July 14, 2010 by applecorecomics

(double update Friday)

Tattooing Allah and “Wi-Fi?” Part 7

Posted in documentary, Uncategorized, Wi-Fi? with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 11, 2010 by applecorecomics

I had stopped lying to myself and finally admitted, after a week with the manly clown, that I was truly in love.  Whether he felt the same or not I never knew.  I still don’t to this day.  What I do know and soon found out back then was that our love was not meant to be.  Because at the end of that seventh blissful day (the majority of which we spent clubbing at the local gay club/clown disco) he fell apart.  At first I thought he was falling apart emotionally because he fell to the ground face first making what seemed to be sobbing noises.  Then his head rolled away and his arms toppled off to the sides and so on.  You could color me confused at this point.  That’s when the main clown who had talked to me at the football field some time ago (when I was initially kidnapped by the clowns, you see) stepped out of the darkness.

“Well well,” he chuckled, “It seems you two have been up to some shenanigans, eh?”

“What have you done to him?!” I yelled in a rage that could only come about through love.

“He’s a sperm jacker,” he said casually.

“A sperm jack…you mean to tell me that this sexy clown is actually a carefully constructed robot/cyborg made specifically for the purpose of seducing me so as to collect my semen in the hopes of soon freezing it to be used later at someone’s discretion, that person usually being the one who built or at least ordered someone to build said sperm jacker?” I said.

“A bit oversimplified, but yes, that’s basically it…” He sneered.

-Excerpt, Gold and Blue and Gay: Chapter 23

The tattoo parlor thing went off without a hitch.  We became in trouble when Kyle was caught filming the tattoo examples on display all over the waiting room (probably thinking we’re there to steal ideas or something) but after that it was all good.  Basically Nathan got Allah in Arabic tattooed on his arm.  Kyle asked him if it was a good idea since if he eventually decided not to be Muslim he might not want it on his arm.  Nathan explained that Allah is just another name for the same God so it wouldn’t make a difference.  I guess it might if he eventually became an atheist.  Not that I’m trying to convince him to be or anything.