“Wi-Fi?” Part 9

That hand in the last panel sucks as well.  It was sketched just fine and I fucked it up in the inking process.  That’s another “final edit” fix.

The parking lot looked normal from a distance but as I stepped foot on it I realized it was textured and painted astroturf.  This seemed superfluous to say the least.  The cars in the lot were real enough.  In fact they were slowly sinking into the turf, which was apparently about ten feet deep.  When I later questioned a crew member about this he told me to mind my own business and through his hot coffee in my face.  Shooting was put on hold for a week after while doctors treated my second-degree burns.  That crew member whom I assumed would be fired turned out to be the director who liked to roam the set incognito.  He apologized when I got back the next week and said he’d been having some issues lately and he was working on them.  I told him to forget it and said it would be fine as long as my hospital bill was taken care of.  He flew off the handle once more and started screaming a native american chant about freeloaders stealing the taxpayers’ money.  (he wasn’t native american).

My first experiences on the movie were obviously mixed, and I was surprised that I still hadn’t seen Johnny Depp yet.  The other actors on the set said that he hadn’t been heard from yet but not to worry because that was usually how he conducted business.  When I said that surely he had at least agreed to do the movie since I was told I would be starring beside him they exchanged nervous glances and switched the subject to the weather.  I naturally accused them of avoiding the subject until I looked up and noticed that the weather was indeed particularly jarring.  It looked like black snow or ash was beginning to fall all around us until a bit got in my   mouth and I realized that it was astroturf.  We all glanced at eachother with a sudden realization spreading over our faces then we bolted toward the parking lot.  When we got there we saw the ten-foot deep cube of astroturf-parking lot was blown to bits.  The cord leading to the detinator (one of those old-fashioned ones with the lever you push down like an air pump) stretched across the grass to the other side of the field near a forest.  And standing above the detinator was Johnny Depp, pointing at us and laughing maniacally.


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