Archive for the Isabald Monteclaire Category

Who Am i

Posted in Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized on November 7, 2010 by applecorecomics

Some may call me “religiously minded.”  I don’t mind, religiously.  But I do take offense when someone calls me anything but an Atheist.  And what is an Atheist?  Shouldn’t it be the default, when you think about it?

I’m attending the BYOA (Bring Your Own Art) and want to sell zines again.  I’ve gotten the prologue done, and that should be enough, but I really want people to read the entire prologue and Chapter 1 of Gold and Blue and Gray before they decide if they like it or hate it.

Thirty years ago I met a man on the corner of a street called Desire.  He told me something I’ll never forget:

So the event is Dec. 4th, and today is November 7th.

“After 80 years of reptiles, at last we’ve found a way to mate with them.”

I have about 18 pages of Chapter one to redo.  If I do six a week, I should have enough time to get them done and made into zines for the thing.  I probably won’t have time to update this blog and website every day, but they’ll be updated several times a week. 



Foastrian, Chronologically Timed

Posted in Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on November 2, 2010 by applecorecomics

Ordinarily, I’d be having my tube socks waxed this time of year.  Instead, because of this economy, I’m eating egg substitute.  Why is it egg substitute if it’s got egg in it?  That’s something Gloria would have asked.  He was a vegan, near the end.  I never understood it.  But he always insisted it made sense and would try to explain to people (only people who asked) but I doubt he changed any minds.  What a guy.  Oh god, what I have I done?

All of the prologue has been redone.  And it’s up instead of the old stuff.  I’ve changed the “Latest Comic Link” under the “Gold and Blue and Gray option” in the “AppleCore” from the “Main Menu of”  Now, if you were a fan of the originals don’t panic.  Actually, maybe you should panic.  I replaced all of the original files.  I have the original drawings, but they aren’t getting the best of care because frankly I don’t care about them.

I do have buttloads of unsold zines of the originals.  Tell you what.  If you, a couple years from now, are a huge fan and want the originals (which will be worth so much by then) then you can order the completed book early and get neat extras, such as the original zines of the crappier versions of the prologue and part of chapter one.

I’ll be at the BYOA (bring your own art) in Spartanburg, SC, in November.  I don’t have an exact date at the moment, but I’ll be printing up new zines for it and probably doing more silly portraits (of you in your circle of Hell of choice).  Stay tuned to hear more.

Kama Sutra St.

Posted in Gold and Blue and Gray, Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2010 by applecorecomics

Home.  Kama Sutra St.  I never thought I’d see it again.  The cold air stings my eyeballs and I wince when the ash from my cigarette burns my toes.  I shouldn’t have worn sandals on a snowy night like this.  The graveyard’s just around the corner.  I button my coat and walk into the mist.  When I get out of the mist I’ve transformed into a giant cockroach.  I always knew it would end this way…

Gloria couldn’t feel pain, you know.  He didn’t like to talk about it.  Thought people would think he was a freak.  I used to tease him about it, sure.  Should I feel bad?  I don’t.  He always looked down on me.  Even though I was rich and he was poor.  I never understood why I let it bother me.  But I was bigger than him, and I used that to my advantage.  Though, to tell the truth, we were pretty evenly matched, fighting style-wise.  I used the Dragon stance, he the Wildabeast stance.  We would pose and have a friend take polaroids, then ask the locals who they thought looked fiercer.  I always won.  Those days, they sound bad, but looking back, both of us being greased down by widowed maids who needed the money, those days weren’t so bad.  At least we had eachother.

Seventeen and Sexy as Hell

Posted in Gold and Blue and Gray, Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized on October 13, 2010 by applecorecomics

“Issy,” my friend asked me once, “what’s it like, being famous?”  I told him it was a blessing and a curse.  Sure, they hang on your every word, but after a while all the pampering and free drinks take their toll and you just want to get away somewhere.  Away from all the poprazzi and British royal families with their dogs and their powdered genitals.  That’s why I’m leaving tomorrow and never coming back.  This blog has had it, anyway.  You want to know what happens next?  Well you can’t know.  That’s life.  Gloria’s never coming back.

Hey, I’m back.  Sorry for the long wait, I’ve been updating regularly on  I’m linking to it as well as AppleCoreComics at the bottom of posts now.  If you read posts by me from there (just click on the “comics” link on the menu bar, all my posts are there) you’ll see I’m working on a new comic project that’s taking up all my time.  I may have mentioned it on here before, I really can’t remember.  I’m gonna be updating Gold and Blue and Gray and The Spikelord and his Sunday Morning Warship occasionally, but I’ve got a year to do “Unicorns.”  For updates on that project, check FlyingOskar.

Quarterly Changes

Posted in Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on October 11, 2010 by applecorecomics

After a while it gets tiring rubbing out the ejaculate.  That’s when you have to take stock of your situation and say to yourself “It’s about time I put down this shovel and pick up a rag and clean the crud off my damn sports car.”  That sums up the past month or so in a nutshell pretty much.  I don’t expect you to understand.  Just take all this in the spirit with which it was given:

Gloria Farmer is dead.  I hate to break it to you.  I’m also the one who killed him.  Yes.  It is I.  Isabald Monteclaire.  Where have I been?  I was never gone.  It’s always been me posting this blog.  There never was a Gloria Farmer.  I made it all up. For one purpose.  To tell you the truth.

Apples and oranges are simply a terrorist plot designed to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids.

Why do you think this is AppleCoreComics?

Just a Taste

Posted in Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 16, 2010 by applecorecomics

I don’t actually have a taste with me.  It’s just an expression.  Oh update on Isabald;  turns out he’s living at a Buddhist temple?  I thought it was weird but then I thought hey, this is perfect, really.  I just got that book from Nathan which he got from Buddhists for free.  So I guess I’ll read up on it and then track Isabald down and try to relate to him.  The Buddhists were a little skeptical of his dedication at first seeing as he looks like Black Jesus.

Grasshopper Saga: The Conclusion

Posted in Monteclaire Jacking In with tags , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2010 by applecorecomics

kksssshhhhh…sssshhhhh…I know not very much time has passed since I made the last post but quite a bit has happened.  I have to admit that I’ve really been overreacting to all this.  What?  Oh no, I’m not being held captive by Grasshoppers anymore.  Actually we all sat down and ironed out a lot of our differences.

I’ve even been given a job in their growing Grasshopper corporation, known as OCP,, in the Security Concepts division.  There have been some really positive changes in my life over the past two days.  I’m really turning things around.  My coworkers and I have all had a pretty good laugh at my panicky, desperate rants this past week

^Jim works with me at the Security Concepts division

So anyway, I just wanted to let you guys know everything’s fi…what?  Inconsistent?  I’m not being incon….OH!  Right.  God, I forgot all about the Gloria thing.  Sorry.  I’ve just been having such a great time at this wonderful company.  Um, yeah, Gloria.  Well it turns out that Gloria had sex with the leader of the grand Grasshopper Race (and later built a monument to a grasshopper’s sexual organs) and the grasshopper gave birth to the new God (the old one got shot through the neck, if you don’t remember) and it was Gloria and the grasshopper leader who, while lying in bed smoking a cigarette after hot sex, thought it would be funny to change up the old Moses’ Law thing and try something new.  Gloria named it ‘Christianity’ after his favorite movie character, Fletcher Christian

Pretty soon it got kind of out of hand when Jesus was crucified and all that.  They felt kind of bad about it, really.  That’s why the Grasshoppers started this company

to kind of make up for Jesus’ death and the Crusades and Catholic pedophiles and all that by providing quality products at reasonable prices.