Archive for black Jesus

Just a Taste

Posted in Isabald Monteclaire, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on August 16, 2010 by applecorecomics

I don’t actually have a taste with me.  It’s just an expression.  Oh update on Isabald;  turns out he’s living at a Buddhist temple?  I thought it was weird but then I thought hey, this is perfect, really.  I just got that book from Nathan which he got from Buddhists for free.  So I guess I’ll read up on it and then track Isabald down and try to relate to him.  The Buddhists were a little skeptical of his dedication at first seeing as he looks like Black Jesus.

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Working for the Man

Posted in documentary, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on August 12, 2010 by applecorecomics

You may have noticed my noticeable absence this week.  Well.  My bad.  But.  I’m gearing up for next week.  Sorry for not telling you.  Next week, the plan is…no, no the plan.  What WILL HAPPEN is I will post an entire page (that is to say 4 lines of 3 panels) every week day.  This is what I will call Hell Week.  A part of my ongoing battle with procrastination.  So, to recap, one page Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  So five full pages which I’ll be doing each day (so you know, that means getting up early each day and working about 6 to 8 hours, depending on the level of detail.  I’ll probably be able to work faster after more practice with the crow quill pen, but I digress).

More news on the mosque front.  I’ll be heading there with Nathan and Kyle Friday to ask the dude and any other person interested if they’ll assist simply by looking over our notes for mistakes and input.  This will be an important first step (I really don’t see how they could say no, wanting their religion properly represented and all.  I guess mainly if they’re all really busy and don’t think us three douchebags are worth the effort.  They struck me as much nicer than that so maybe they’ll humor us.  God I hope they humor us.) So I’ll let you know how that goes.

The only other thing documentary-wise was my feeble attempts at learning to edit video.  It’s not going great.  The main problem at this point is the fact that the camera we use (yes, one camera) records mpeg video.  The better free video editing stuff needs it to be avi.  So I got a program to convert it, but it’s turning out to be even more complicated.  Anyway.

Again sorry for not filling you in sooner on the whole hell week thing.  I do procrastinate though.  I think the lack of a tangible deadline is also a problem.  So yes, I need to get up at like 6 AM or something every day next week and get to work immediately, break for lunch and walking dog, and continue until work.  If, by some crazy happenstance I don’t get the thing posted before work, rest assured it will be posted before I go to sleep.  Whether that means before 12:00 AM or after which will technically be the next day, I can’t say.  But all my efforts will go towards getting them up before work to avoid all that and get enough sleep.

Monteclaire, where are you?

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Quotable Note Cards

Posted in Monteclaire Jacking In, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2010 by applecorecomics

Um.  I came to conclusion that I should in fact not update today but tomorrow.  Why, you ask?  Because I fucked up and forgot my flash drive?  Yes.  This is the reason.  I’m sitting here in a bookstore next to some horrible quotable cards.  Like this one here says….kkksssshhhhh……

…sssshhhhhhh (static feedback)….You will not believe what I’ve been through in the past week.  This is Monteclaire with the latest update on the how and why of Gloria’s involvement with the creation of Christianity.  I can’t even describe…you ever read that one part of the Bible, uh, Revelations?  You know with lions with 20 heads holding 40 candles hovering above a black hole or some stuff like that?  And then like, that part of “2001: A Space Odyssey” at the end when colors and shit are flying by and you see the creation of the universe then settle in a room that sort of represents man’s accomplishments or something and then the guy turns into an immortal fetus?  Seriously, for a second there I’m pretty sure I was an immortal fetus.

I have the answer.  I know who Gloria is and why grasshoppers seem so keen to take over the world and why I look like Black Jesus (did I mention I look like Black Jesus?)

But…I can’t tell you.  Not yet.  It’s too extraordinary to just say in a few sentences.  So I’ll be taking over the blog for one whole week to describe the amazing ride on which I have just been.  And at the end of the week, you will know the truth.  Keep watching the stars….Monteclaire out…….


…kkksssshhhhh….and the last one says “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly.”  Lame.

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Vegetarians and Vegans Make Me Sick

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , on May 11, 2010 by applecorecomics

As promised, since I didn’t update over the weekend, here’s the double update:

Gold and Blue and Gray

I just have to get something off my chest.  I’ve got this vegetarian friend who recently told me he’s slowly turning it over to full-on vegan.  Now, I understand where he’s coming from with the vegetarian thing.  Don’t eat meat, don’t wanna kill animals, it’s cruel, inhumane, only bastards do it, blah blah blah.  Sure.  Vegan though?  Come on!  I mean chickens and cows aren’t hurt like, at all from getting eggs and milk from them.  Cutting those things out is just stupid.

And I’m sorry, but how can you say you won’t drink a cow’s milk?  I mean is it wrong for a baby to drink her mother’s milk?  Am I right?  And then my friend came back and was all “that doesn’t even make sense.  A cow has to be impregnated and we harvest the milk.  It’s sick.  A cow’s milk is meant for the cow’s baby.”  And I’m all like, yeah, but there’s so much of it it sure doesn’t hurt to take a little for ourselves!  And by the way, I think it’s wrong to suggest that animals shouldn’t reproduce just because you don’t think harvesting its milk is right!  We don’t go around not letting children reproduce just because there’s child cruelty in the world!  There would be no children!

And lastly, I’m pretty sure God:

intended for us to use animals for our benefit.  Vegetarians and vegans are unnatural and unhealthy.  They get sick more often, and there’s things you get from meat and shit that you just can’t get other places.

Anyway.  I’m really hoping I can get his leather couch.  That’s really the only upside here.

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7:38 PM

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on April 25, 2010 by applecorecomics

It’s come to my attention that Monteclaire is up to something.  I was driving around town earlier today and several people asked me what the secret to Christianity was.  I ignored the first few, but got annoyed after a while and when the fourth person asked the same damn question, I jokingly said “Mary wasn’t a virgin, she was actually impregnated late one night unknowingly by a grasshopper!”  You know, just something random to get the person to leave me alone.  Imagine my suprise when they gasped, fell to the ground, raised their hands to the sky and screamed “I knew it!”  I mean what the fuck.

I need to admit that I’m behind on the next Fantastic Benefits update.  But it’ll be up tomorrow.  This is just a test.  I’m in a battle, you see, and the overall war will either be won by me or procrastination.  We shall see.

I’ve never shown you a picture of Monteclaire, have I?  Well seeing as he’s been such a dick lately

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