Archive for Dune

Where’s Monteclaire?

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on February 28, 2010 by applecorecomics

Oh…my head.  Where the fuck is Isabald?  I checked this site yesterday and there wasn’t a fucking Friday or Saturday post.  He disappeared and I have no memory of the past two days.  Wait……………….something’s coming back to me.  Ssss…ex?  Sex.  I had sex.  Who did I have sex with?  Wait wait.  I’m in the middle of the desert.  The trip’s a bust.  I was with the old lady.  Was it the old lady?  It wouldn’t be the first ancient lady I’ve boned.  I’ve been around in my time, let me tell ya.  Uuuhhh….no.  Wait.  Where did the Fremen go?  We were gonna start this big war and take back the planet or something.  Or was that a book I read?  Wait a secon…d…….What the?  There’s- there’s trees out there.  There are trees.  I’m in a tent.  In a b…backyard?  I’m, I’m sorry, I know I’m not making any sense.

Okay.  No desert outside the tent.  What is that about.  And why do have the same feeling I had that one time I took way too much acid.  Um…What about…the treasure?  The old lady, she, she told me about the treasure.  She said where it was buried.  She told me some kind of a riddle.  Something like

If you know what that means, leave a comment and tell me.  I can’t promise I’ll be able to approve the comment, at least not until I figure out where I am and what happened.

Gold and Blue and Gray. Was updated Friday.



Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on February 25, 2010 by applecorecomics

I’ve had enough of all these sexual comments towards me.  I’m not Gloria.  I don’t enjoy those types of things.  All you’re accomplishing is freaking me out.  Here’s Gloria:

Holy fuck.  Or, I should say, Holy Fucking Mother.  That’s who I’ve been talking to for the past hour.  Of course that’s nothing to nearly being eaten and just after that stabbed by numerous peoples.  I don’t even know where Randy Ghost is hiding.  Oh.  Sorry, you don’t know what I’m talking about.  Let me back up.

We were running towards the mountainous rocks, I heard a thumping, the ghost pissed himself , we turned around, and there standing 30 feet tall was a humongous beast of gargantuan proportions and a rather large size as well:


It was the dreaded Sandwormu.  I’d only read of them.  My feet froze mid-run and I slid to a halt, grabbing the ghost’s arm to stop him as the worm gained on us.  “Why???” was what the look on his face seemed to say.  Calmly, again, as the worm sped toward us like a massive throbbing missile, I said “Randy, remember what Fatboy Slim taught us!”  He looked at me as if I was speaking another language and then his face changed.  He understood.  Together, we both began walking once more, humming the sacred tune as we did:

“Walk without rhythm, and it won’t…attract…the worm.”

“Walk without rhythm, and it won’t…attract…the worm.”

Needless to say we safely made it across the dunes and then some.  Actually we got a little too into the song and started flying through the air like Christopher Walken and ended up at the next mountainous structure some 50 miles from the first one.  I think the worm and us bonded through that whole experience.  The next time I see a penis this is all I’m gonna be able to think about.  Anyways.  Long story short when we strolled into the caves of the rocks a strange people jumped out and attacked us.  They were darker-skinned, kind of like Monteclaire.  The main difference was their eyes.  They were glowing a delicious neon-pink.

I smoothed things over with them, they took us back to their village in the caves, they started calling me the Mahdi, which is apparently like their savior or something, blah blah blah.  It’s really not all that interesting.  It really got interesting when I started talking with their Holy Mother. Man, that was one saucy dame.  I wish someone would describe me as saucy.  Anyway, she had a lot of awesome stories, but one in particular caught my ear…

She knows where the treasure is buried.


Hmm.  Some of that story sounds a tad familiar.  Monteclaire out.